| i have not updated this in a year |
[02 Dec 2006|01:27am] |
lol its been a year since ive written in this thing.
update on life i barely slept last night and i cant sleep tonight
i feel like complete shit.
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| you know im bored when im updating this thing |
[16 Nov 2005|02:27pm] |
i am in a lot of pain
i sprained my neck, i don tknow how i did but i did and its a killer
im taking 1200 mg of ibeprofun a day and 2 muscle relxers.
im a little out of it
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| oh shit oh shit oh shit |
[19 Oct 2005|04:46pm] |
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music |
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your daddy doin it to me |
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so today after school there was an awesome letter sitting in my studio space.............
and one of my art pieces is in a show this friday in silver spring md
AND
it is already sold for 125
im so happy.
im so glad that i am happy. i love being able to enjoy myself and not let shit get to me. this week will be a good one. i feel like im living and i enjoy it.
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| it hurts |
[16 Oct 2005|01:08am] |
it wasnt the alcohol
i knew it was going to happen before i left
i wish i could drop everything and be happy
i really am a miserable person right now
im sick of not knowing who to trust along with a million other things.
i complain too much and im aware there are SO many good things in my life. its just hard to pay attention to when your constantly reminded of how youll never be as good
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| i have better things to do |
[04 Oct 2005|12:01pm] |
i havent updated this in a while because i actually have a life lately.
ive been happy
pissed off
and everything else inbetween
the band is going sweet were practicing again tonight and i think in about a month or two were gonna try to play out so that you all can hear us!
art is a pain in the ass i start one thing and never finish it but ill get it all done and worked out.
i take the sats on saturday
if i dont get into colleges its going to be because of this stupid test
i got 3,000$ to mica a year for the pre college summer thing i did they picked 53 kids and i was one of the bastards woot. its not much but it helps.
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| hfd sopfose |
[22 Sep 2005|12:11am] |
im a complete ball of stress.
i cant handle myself.
i am about 3 years lacking in the sleep department.
and i think im so tired i want to cry.
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[13 Sep 2005|11:04pm] |
im livin!
schools nuts. but i dont even feel like im in school because its all bullshit classes and such.
arcian read is the current band name..........but it will probably change. we have 3 songs in the making!!!
hhaha it doesnt sound like a lot but im happy.
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| wierdness |
[31 Aug 2005|11:44pm] |
part of me is so happy and the other part of me is a wreck. its so hard to explain. Im so scared of everything now. i think it can be summed up that im nuts.
im a nutcase thats all there is to it. i feel sorry for my friends ahahaha
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| summer recap.....two words, sweet titties. |
[27 Aug 2005|03:33am] |
the summer has been ridiculous.
key moments of summer i will never forget.
*making memories with someone who means the world to me, aka misses lindsey. seriously this summer wouldnt have been the same at all. wether it just be talking on the phone, being ridiculous in parking lots, swimming, coming down to the ocean, just everything means the world and im so greatful to have an amazing person like you in my life that never stops listening or caring no matter how long im away for or how ridiculous im being.
*rosewood
*being lectured by the cops and having the most ridculous night of my life possibly
*hanging out with my old school friends
*ice cream adventures
*MICA and the amazing people i met and the amazing things i learned
* people who kept me going through that long month of chaos.
* falling in love
*gettin drunk at the indian resturant and then sonaring it up
*making new music
*having scrabble sleepovers with brian
*a change of states from love to friends
* getting snowballs, giggling at the left rights, going to the mall, and again another person who always is there for me miss katelyn coochie
* ice cream and just puppies adventures.
* my favorite quote of the summer Re na reer: All you gotta do is smile, and love your titties, and hang out with your friends that love your titties too!
*getting closer to an amazing girl
*fun times down the ocean with everyone who came
*brian hiding my shoes so high up i cant reach them
* pillow game
*dundalk spoons
* playing THE FLOOR IS LAVA
*and watching my first sunrise.
let me tell you my summer has been crazy but in a wonderful way. and i think and pray everything will end just as good as it started. no more drama.
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| why do i care |
[18 Aug 2005|03:14pm] |
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i hate the fact that i care so much. i found out WONDERFUL news today and apparently ive been lied to. id rather have heard it from someone elses mouth but i guess thats what happens when people dont take the time and talk. i figured i deserved that much. im a wreck and i need to get the hell out of here for this week. i need it so badly.
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| f ajoiedwap dsa |
[15 Aug 2005|12:20pm] |
i dont know what to write in here.
i had an eventful weekend.
i got to see people i havent been able to see which was wonderful.
i want to see a lot of people before i leave for the ocean and i really hope i get around to seeing everyone.
tomorrow i have my college interview at school of visual arts in manhatten. today i had a phone interview with miami university college of arts. im terrified of college. to go all the way to miami would be to leave everything behind and start over new which in some ways is wonderful and in others horrible. i dont want to think about it until i see what colleges i actually make it into . diaso ueiowa mdksaldsa
when she stole a kiss she stole my heart
and now im a hangin
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| i am a good person |
[13 Aug 2005|05:21pm] |
i am a good person, and i definately dont deserve this. This is probably the hardest thing ive ever done especially to know that someone doesnt care anymore, not one bit. not to know your home safely, not to know youre doing alright, nothing. i have lost every bit of respect and sympathy. i have lost a dear friendship until a change can occur. but im not shedding anymore tears or time to show i care. im done.
ive tried to talk and reason and it doesnt make a damn but of difference. im not wanted around so that is why i left and im leaving for good until i am wanted or can handle a ridiculous and unecessary change. i seriously dont even feel like a person anymore. I feel like a thing thats just like waiting around for something to come along to me. feeling useless is horrible and right now theres no getting out of it.
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| life is wierd |
[12 Aug 2005|04:09am] |
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so at this point in time im really not happy. i love my friends i know that. but still I get used and i hate it. I hate being the girl everyone can depend on sometimes. its only cause everyone knows i care and i would do anything for anyone. I set myself up for it im sure but being used is a terrible feeling.
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| dont read if you dont like reading emo stuff. |
[04 Aug 2005|03:56pm] |
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mood |
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 exhausted |
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i hate typing personal things in here but i have so much going on that im ready to explode and i feel like im going in circles when i try to talk to people about everything thats going on. i havent been this down in the pooper in a long time.
i dont ever want to sit in the auditorium of my school again
i dont want to swing
i dont want to ever spend the night in my car
i dont want to sleep in my bed or on the couch
i dont want to make anyone else pancakes
i dont want to hear r kelly
i dont want anyone to ever misuse the word love to me again
i dont want to remember being happy cause it only makes me sadder
i dont want to find my room spray
i dont want to eat pasta salad
i dont want to ever go to rosewood
i dont want to be told my eyes are pretty
i dont want to go to the resevoir
i dont want to go to shows
i dont want to wash my car
i dont want to admit that i trusted you to take something away from me that noone else has.
i dont want to loose one of my best friends who i can tell anything to and expect that they can do the same
and most of all i dont want to ever not be important to you.
dont ask me if im okay, for the moment im not but i know i can get through this with time.
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| apparently.... |
[03 Aug 2005|02:59am] |
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apparently things turned out how i figured they would and i am as disposable as i thought i was.
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| 5:30 what the hell am i still doing up |
[02 Aug 2005|04:30am] |
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i cant sleep yet again and it sucks. I have so much on my mind but its too complicated to condense on here. if i were to try it would most likely go along the lines of i feel very disposable like people dont need me anymore. sometimes i think too much or take things the wrong way. however, its really starting to get to me and im really sad. i want to be happy and hopefully this is just a phase or something that will pass by soon.
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[31 Jul 2005|02:03am] |
i just want to say that tonight dag played an amazing show.
tonight was awesome except for the fact they didnt win, ima poop on the judges heads. hmmm im hanging out with my love tomorrow and im excited.
lindsey, my partner in crime is leaving for the ocean soon and i am going to miss you my friend dearly.
you WILL be getting a call everyday haha.
again dead above ground you were awesome.
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| sometimes.... |
[28 Jul 2005|03:57pm] |
all in all ive realized the only reason why i go crazy sometimes is because i care. wierd enough yeah i care a poop load about everything. i think things are back to normal and its safe to say i like it that way. today i made an appointment with school of visual arts in new york for a portfolio review and im excited/ nervous to meet the office of admissions. i found out they dont have art education so they can suck my tittie. i miss me some boo boo.
I VISITED MY GREAT AUNT TODAY!!!!!!!! she's 90 and still hopping and i love her to death. she told me to bring my drums next time. haha im SURE the old folks home would love that.
life is good. i love summer. i love my friends/ wonderful boyfriend. :)
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[27 Jul 2005|12:31pm] |
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my friends are wonderful. its too hot to type and i sound like a man, call me for some entertainment ahahahahahaha.
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[25 Jul 2005|11:32pm] |
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i wish someone would please tell me whats going on these days. i promised myself i wouldnt get like this and now i am. goshdarnit i apparently suck at life.
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